Why I Can’t Go Back to the Dentist

I had a dentist appointment yesterday. I don’t mind going there…usually.

A couple of months ago, I noticed that there was a rather deep grove in one of my back teeth. It didn’t hurt, but it was a bit annoying. Come to find out, one of my fillings had broken. No problem. Easy fix. An appointment was scheduled.

I strode into the dentist office with not a care in the world and wondering nothing more than if I would receive a free toothbrush. I really like free toothbrushes.

I was called back into the little dentist room and, without warning, a swab of numbing gel was rubbed all over the inside of my mouth in order to prepare my cheek for a shot.

I began to panic.

Fortunately, I’m an adult so I know that having a panic attack rarely improves a situation. I needed to play it cool.

“So, what’s this numbing gel for? I didn’t know we had anything major on the schedule today.”

Good, act innocent and unconcerned. Maybe I’ll at least be able to verify that one of my teeth isn’t going to be mistakenly extracted.

The dental assistant replied that she was under the impression that one of my fillings needed to be replaced, but she must have heard the panic in my voice because she offered to go get the dentist so that he could explain things to me.

The good news is, I haven’t gotten a shot yet and I’m about to speak to the big man about these potentially painful procedures that are about to take place. The bad news is, I’m still a bit worked up and I notice  that I’m sweating…a lot. I try to dab at my face a bit, but it doesn’t help much.

So here I am with numbing gel all over the inside  of my mouth, hanging upside down (those chairs can lean waaaaaay back), sweating like it’s 110 degrees with that crazy woman look in my eyes and the dentist walks in. We talk for a bit and, bless his heart, I talk him out of whatever terrible and painful process he was going to use and he, instead, uses the 100% painless air gun.

Why not have the 100% painless air gun be the number one option?!?  It’s beyond me.

The rest of the appointment was wonderful and within fifteen minutes, I was done. But this was the point at which I realized there was a problem.

See, during the time that I was in panic mode, I was sweating. I already mentioned that. What I didn’t mention is that I was wearing a skirt yesterday. A short skirt. A skirt that did absolutely nothing to keep my sweat from going all over that plastic dental chair.

When it was time to go, I got up and, sure enough, there sweat all over the chair. That crazy plastic chair was visibly wet.  I didn’t know what to do!  I considered faking like I had forgotten something in the room so I could go back and mop up quickly. 

Unfortunately, the dental assistant noticed me looking back towards the room and asked, “Is everything okay, Honey?” 

“No, everything is fine,” I said as I hung my shoulders in defeat and followed my instructions to go to the counter to schedule my next appointment.

I’m not sure what the dental assistant thought when she went back in the room.  Perhaps somehow, by the grace of God, it evaporated by the time she happened to look at the chair.  Maybe it happens on a regular basis and they are prepared to wipe everything down after fixing a filling… 

 I don’t know, but I do know a few things:

1. Leaving sweat on the dental chair is embarrassing

2. I probably won’t be able to go back to the dentist because of the embarrassment

3. I didn’t get a free toothbrush

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